Pee Seat

By Sasha Brown

CW: pee seat

Photo by Zoshua Colah on Unsplash

I’m on the F train to Brooklyn, smooshed in, standing up, typing on my phone. It’s rush hour so it’s always crowded, but it’s worse today because someone has peed on one of the seats. Just a tidy little puddle of pee. There’s no question about what it is. You can smell it. We’re all trying to leave space around the pee seat. We’re just trying to get home, man. By 14th Street there’s almost no room except for the pee seat and its vicinity and this one lady pushes in, just like a regular business lady in a pencil skirt, she squeezes through the crowd and heads straight for it and before anyone can do or say anything (I’m busy typing) she sits right down. Right in the pee seat. It makes a little moist noise. Some of the pee drips onto the floor.

The whole car goes silent, aghast, like what now? People eye each other nervously. Someone really ought to say something. I keep my eyes on my phone. Don’t look at me, I’m not doing it. I’m documenting it.

Finally this one dude is like, excuse me ma’am. I’m so sorry to tell you this, but I’m afraid there was pee in the seat you just sat in. I’m so sorry.

The lady gives him a pleasant smile. Oh, it’s fine! It’s mine from this morning.

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Sasha Brown’s a Stoker-nominated author whose work has been called “Creative! But in a bad way.” He’s in lit mags like Wigleaf and Split Lip, and in genre pubs like Bourbon Penn and Weird Horror. He’s sashabrown on bsky and sashabrownwriter.com online.

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